Is a Jewelry Box a better gift than a new car?

At first you may think this notion is downright idiotic. Of course any woman would rather receive a brand new car as a gift than even the most luxurious wood jewelry box. But when you get down to the details, you’ll quickly see why a jewelry box is a better gift than a car. Here are 5 reasons why this is true.

1) A Jewelry Box is Easier to Wrap

As anyone can see, even a large jewelry armoire is easier to wrap than a new car. With a new car, the only thing you can do is put a bow on it and leave it unwrapped (and that’s just tacky). A jewelry box, on the other hand, can easily be wrapped with pretty paper or placed in a decorative gift bag. And isn’t pretty wrapping paper and gift bags what the holidays and birthdays are all about?

2) A Jewelry Box Doesn’t Cost $2,500+ a Year to Operate

Chances are you already own at least 1 car and currently spend anywhere from $30 to $100 a week just to keep it moving. What fun is a gift that costs you money in the long run? A wooden or leather jewelry box doesn’t cost you a thing to maintain. It’s true, your wife/girlfriend/friend/daughter/sister would probably like to spend $100 a week on jewelry, but at least at the end of the week, she’ll still have $100 worth of jewelry in it (rather than just fumes and an empty gas tank).

3) A Jewelry Box has a Lower Chance of Getting Damaged by a Renegade Shopping Cart

If you buy a jewelry box, chances are it will be placed in a secure location in your home away from possible danger and damage for eternity. However, with a new car, the first thing your wife/girlfriend/friend/daughter/sister will probably do is take it out of your safe and secure garage/driveway and thrust it into the dangerous streets and highways where bad drivers, mother nature, and drifting shopping carts can have their way with it (need we say more?).

4) A Jewelry Box Doesn’t Lead to Violent Outbursts of Anger on the Highway

When was the last time a jewelry box caused you to flash obscene hand gestures at someone or scream uncontrollably at a person you don’t even know? Unless you have a history of mental illness or a deep seeded hatred for anything related to convenient jewelry storage, the answer is probably never. So as you can see, presenting a loved one with a new car is basically saying “You don’t scream or swear nearly enough at random people. Merry Christmas!”

5) You can Actually Afford a New Jewelry Box

Unless your last name is Clooney, Hilton, or Gates, chances are you really can’t afford to buy a new car for your loved one. As much as you’d like to give your wife/girlfriend/friend/daughter/sister a new car to show her how much you care, a new car would just lead to missed car payments, repossession, and maybe even divorce/breakup/disownment. A new jewelry box, on the other hand, costs tens of thousands of dollars less than a new car and is still a luxurious gift that any woman would appreciate (unless she has a deep-seated hatred for anything related to convenient jewelry storage).

So as you can see, a jewelry box is clearly a better gift idea than a brand new car. It’s more affordable, easier to wrap, and 20 years from now, it will be considered an antique (rather than a hunk of junk leaking oil on your driveway).

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